10 Practical Tools for Night Shift Wives

1. A body pillow. My husband calls it his replacement. I tell him sometimes I prefer it because it never rolls over and smacks me and it never smells. However, it doesn't snuggle, and provides no extra warmth, but it is nice to feel something at my back while I am getting ready to fall asleep.
2. Background noise. I live in a very rainy climate, and the sound of rain drumming on the roof sends me straight to sleep. In the warmer months a fan works just as well. I don't like to leave the TV on ever since I read Farenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, but I know other police wives who like to do that.
3. No scary shows before bed. Seriously. And don't watch the news, either. If your cop is stuck in a newsworthy mess, he will call as soon as he can. Don't give yourself an unnecessary anxiety attack just because you thought you'd check the weather and happened to see that there was a high speed chase, bank robbery, or barricaded suspect in his division.
4. Create rituals. I like to make a cup of tea or some popcorn, read for a little while, and then get straight to bed. Whatever did not get finished before that cup of tea can wait until tomorrow.
5. Do something to show your man that you were thinking of him before you went to sleep. I leave a light on downstairs so he can come in the front door without falling down and waking us all up, and I like to set out some pajamas for him so he doesn't have to look for them in the dark.
6. When he comes home in those painfully early morning hours, do your best to wake up a little and listen to him talk about his night. I like to sleepily mumble, "How did it go?" and let him talk while he gets ready for bed. It helps him decompress, I get to hear stories he won't remember to tell me later in the day, and sometimes it wakes me up enough that when he comes to bed we don't go right back to sleep! Which just means I will fall asleep in a chair later that day, and my daughters will use paintbrushes on my face, but it could be worse, I suppose.
7. Light dinners. How would you like it if you woke up in the morning and someone offered you a nice pot roast and potatoes? When my husband wakes up at 3pm, by 6pm he's lucky if he can stomach a grilled cheese or a turkey sandwich. So save those delicious meals for another schedule, or make them anyway but pack his portion for taking to work and eating at 1am when he's actually hungry for that sort of thing.
8. Train children in consideration for others. This is never a bad thing, and does not suppress their needs in any way. In our home, we are calm and use inside voices while Daddy is sleeping. We don't wear plastic princess shoes on the hardwood, we don't have jumping contests from the stairs, and we don't play tag. Then at 3pm, I say, "Yeah, Daddy's awake! Now you can do whatever that loud thing was that you asked about earlier. Go for it!" And my kids have learned to set aside their own desires to take care of another person's needs. Also, I have girls. This quiet and no jumping business will be much more difficult for those testosterone-laden households, but it can't hurt to try, right?
9. Make friends with other wives whose husbands have similar schedules. I have a friend whose husband is in the Navy, and when he has duty, she brings her daughter over and we have a Girls Only Movie Night. We paint nails, we play games, we put on two movies (Barbie Rapunzel for them and Pride and Prejudice for us), and we talk until our yawning prevents us from talking anymore.
10. Remember that this is only for a season. Relish the time that is all yours, and be productive with it. Take up a new hobby, paint some of your furniture, hang pictures on the walls, go through your clothes (not his!) for Goodwill, organize your pantry, make a scrapbook; the options are endless. I like to make a list of all the things I would like to accomplish during the next few months of my husband's night shift. Then, when I am feeling restless or lonely, I do one of them. Finally, treat the time you do have together as precious. Don't nag, or complain, but encourage him, and offer to help him in any way you can. Don't leave room for any regret when he walks out the door for another night of being who he's been called to be.

Awesome article by a kindred spirit!

This woman not only gets it, but shares about her life in such a thoughtful, funny, and heartfelt way that I (and several friends) were laughing, crying, and nodding in agreement at every line. Thank you, Melissa Littles, for so eloquently capturing our lives in your amazing article. I wish you lived nearby- I'd want to be your friend and talk with you over coffee!

http://blissinprogress.hubpages.com/hub/Police-Wife-Life-The-Joys-and-Jitters-of-a-LEO-Wife-by-Melissa-Littles

Happy Police Wife, in service.

A few hours ago my husband began his watch for the night shift and I finally have time to write. Daughters are in bed, dishes are done, toys picked up, and the great debate begins: what do I now do with this time that is completely my own? I could be really productive, and mop the kitchen and bathroom floors, which no one will walk on for at least seven hours. I could indulge in some nighttime tv watching, when I don't have to choose between the Disney Channel or Sports Center. I could watch several hours of people tearing apart and redecorating houses that were nicer than mine to begin with, but that just breeds discontent, sadly. I will probably, because it has become habit in the last few days, make a hot cup of chai spice tea with a little milk and a lot of sugar, grab a blanket and my mom's old copy of Little Women, and curl up in my chair by the fireplace. Graveyard shifter's wives will understand this feeling of complete freedom, a feeling that is so rare for most other wives and mothers, my dear military families excepted. It is the feeling that I have done all I can do for today, there are no more unmet needs until tomorrow, and I am not a worrier (because I don't watch the news), and I can do something to refresh my spirit and prepare to meet all of those needs that will arise tomorrow. Little Women, here I come. Baby, be safe at work, be encouraged, and I will see you in the morning. Kiss me when you get home.