Raising Resilient Kids

From the time my children could understand words, I would talk to them about their Daddy, the hero. “A hero is someone who saves lives, and that is what your daddy does,” I would tell them as I fed them goopy rice cereal in their high chairs. As I changed diapers, gave bubble baths, and put them to bed by myself, I told them that their Daddy loved them, but he had to work a lot at night because he helped people who couldn’t help themselves, fought for people who could not fight for themselves, and rescued people who needed rescuing. When they were preschoolers, they took a tour of the police station and saw the jail cell for adults who made bad choices and wanted to hurt others, then the candy drawer for kids who make good choices, and then got to take home a lollipop and a shiny badge sticker. They have seen the inside of my husband’s cruiser; the molded plastic backseat with the gap that allows room for the passengers to wear handcuffs while they ride to jail. They are as knowledgeable as a four-year old and a six-year-old should be about law enforcement, and they adore their daddy for who he is and what he does. They have been through years of night shifts and swing shifts in their young little lives, and know the heartbreak of missing their daddy when he is not there to say goodnight, or even eat a meal with them for days at a time. But before you get out the tissues, know this: they are two of the toughest kids you will ever meet, in a good way. Not calloused or unfeeling, but resilient, hopeful, adaptable. They can cope with disappointment better than most adults I know. And they know that while Daddy may not be around as often as they wish he was, he loves them and works hard to keep them safe.