To work OT or to not work OT; that is the question.

One more way to keep your family growing together toward compassion and resilience is to live within your means and avoid working overtime hours. This may sound odd, but how can Dad develop close relationships with his family if he is too busy working a ton of overtime so that they can have a nicer house, several extracurricular activities each that take time away and cost money, and all the latest technology so that everyone in the house can ignore each other while they each entertain themselves. It goes against our current culture to say it, but this is not how families were meant to live. What is important to you? Your beloved is already working a difficult schedule, and possibly sleeping during the day to make up for working at night. He may not get to eat with his kids very often, or take them to their sporting events, or see them win the spelling bee. But that larger house, that nicer car, or that vacation to Hawaii starts calling your name, and pretty soon, your husband finds himself continually signing his name to those overtime postings to build a nicer life for his family. Does this sound familiar? It is built into our husband’s DNA to want to provide well for us, and when we, their well-meaning wives, complain about not having what our neighbors have, or what we think we should have, that desire to provide goes into overdrive, and OT looks like the solution. Now, if you truly have expenses that can’t be avoided, or if your husband takes a couple of extra shifts a year to pay for vacation, then this post is not for you. However, if you encourage your husband to work overtime often so your family can have nicer things, this is an abuse of his time and energy. You are essentially telling him, “I value what you can give me more than I value spending time with you.” A good friend of mine whose husband is a firefighter explained to her two little boys, “Our house is not as nice as everyone else’s. We won’t have all the toys that all your friends will have. But that is okay, and we are going to be content with what we have so we can spend more time together with Dad.” Philippians 4:12-13 says “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well-fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.” If you can be content with having less, but value the time you have together as a family, you will be happier than if you had traded that time for more things that will just wear out. It is time to put your treasure where your heart is, and give your husband permission to come home and enjoy you and your family. Time spent together will knit you together as a family, and give you the resilience to get though the difficulties that will inevitably come in the life of a law enforcement family.