How to Shine

My husband laughs at me whenever I tell him what I think about while I weed the garden, do the laundry, or in the most recent case, clean the toilets. He says, "Who thinks about that while they clean the bathroom?" I say, "I do. So there must be other people. I'm not that original." Here was my thought while on my knees in the bathroom, wiping down the sides and underbelly of the childrens' toilet, holding my breath and trying to work quickly. Why is it that the grossest, most humbling jobs of taking care of our household seem to require that we be on our knees? It is a posture that forces a humble attitude. Some people do not stoop to clean toilets. They pay someone to do it. I know, because I cleaned houses for a time, a very humbling experience. So now, in cleaning my own family's bathrooms, when I find myself on my knees, my thoughts wander from what I am doing to the humble posture. I have heard others talk about the holy calling of motherhood, and what a sacred work we do in raising a generation to follow Jesus. They don't generally talk about toilets. But I'm going to, for just a minute longer. On my knees, whether cleaning the bathroom, scrubbing food off of the floor below the high chair, cleaning spilled soda off of the living room rug, or wiping up the wood floor after my naked toddler decided to mark his territory before the bath, I have a chance to be grumbling or thankful. There is a lot of dirty work mixed into this sacred calling, and we are the ones holding the sponge. We can complain about the spills, the stains, the mess, or we can thank God for this family we've been entrusted with. We can take the opportunity, while already on our knees, to ask God for help in displaying his great love and care to our family. We can, as my mom said of my grandpa, who served for years as a Christian camp manager, choose not to distinguish between the secular and the sacred, and do all our work to the glory of God. Dishes, laundry, dinners, and bathing little ones are all sacred work when we allow God's love to shine through us as we serve our families. Philippians 2:14-16 says, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life." Colossians 3:23-24 says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving."

Tech Time Cards for Responsible Kids

Are you looking for a way to manage your kids' technology use at home? We are always looking for ways to teach our kids to manage themselves, and after lots of conversations with other parents, and reaching a point of frustration with our own kids and the whining for more game time, we settled on a system that is working well for us. Maybe it can work for you, too! 1. Determine expectations. In our home, any homework and chores had to be done first before technology could be used. We wanted our kids to play with their toys, dress-up, and with each other more than we wanted them using the computer and XBOX. We wanted our kids to be able to manage their own time on the devices and not depend on us to tell them when to start and stop. 2. Decide on how much time is acceptable in your family. As expectations vary by family, so will time. We have a ten-year-old daughter and a seven-year-old daughter who both love to dress up and pretend- farm, cafe, diner, vet's office, etc. They love to play with their little plastic Disney figurines in elaborately plotted, hour-long plays with as complex a story line as any Hollywood movie. They love to scooter in the driveway, ride bikes, jump rope, and draw with sidewalk chalk. They love to do crafts. These things are important to them, but the XBOX Kinect is fun and alluring, and when the system recently moved into their playroom after my husband upgraded to a new system, it was an ever-present challenge to their normal creative play. For us, three 15 minute XBOX sessions, two 20 minute computer sessions, and an extra 15 minutes of XBOX play to be used when a friend is over during the week seemed like plenty of time (Times given are per child). If your family needs more time, give them more time. Or less. It's your family. You know them best. 3. Decide when time can be used. We have ballet and piano, friends over, and church activities during the week, not to mention homework and reading time, so we chose not to allow the XBOX to be used during the week, unless it was the friend pass. The kids love Brain Pop, PBSkids.org, and other educational sites for their computer time, so they are able to redeem those minutes during the week. The cards are given out on Monday, and any used cards are placed in a special spot in the kitchen. My kids will bring the cards to me and let me know they are using their time, and all I have to do is say okay. They fire up the XBOX or the computer and set the timer. When Monday rolls around again, I return all used cards back to them to use again. 4. Revisit the system occasionally to see how it is working, or if it requires any adjustments. I asked my older daughter what she thought of it, since it seemed to be running smoothly for the first two weeks we used it. She said that she really liked it, because she got to choose when she could play, instead of checking with me. If she wanted to play 45 minutes of XBOX on Saturday, that was her choice, but if she wanted to spread out her time, she could do that, too. She felt that she was more in control of her time and her choices. Several weeks into it, however, she was supposed to be using a friend pass with her cousins, and she used up all of their time "showing them how to play." I let the cousins continue to play but I confiscated one of her passes from the next week. She agreed that the consequence was fair and moved on (Yay!). My younger daughter likes the system because she knows she gets just as much time on the game as her older sister, and fairness is so important to little sisters! I love seeing my kids gain life skills, and this taught them a few: time management, budgeting, and responsibility. It also is a great measurement of integrity- are they setting the timer accurately? Are they turning in their cards when they use them? Are all the used cards still on the counter at the end of the week? I hope they are in your family as well. Honor is a crucial character quality, and this system depends on it. I am counting our tech time cards a success, and I hope this is something you can implement as you teach your kids to use technology in moderation, to value face-to-face human relationships above electronic entertainment, and to prioritize their time according to their values. None of these are an easy task in our culture today, but our kids, the people they will grow up to become, and the people they will grow up to love are all worth it. Don't give up on them now because it's tough! Press on, Mama! If you like this idea, or if you are able to use it in your family, post a comment below to let me know how it works for you!