Movies, Manicures, and Good Kids

Do you want to teach your kids to think about someone else's needs before their own? Marry a cop. After being told their whole 4-6 years on this earth, "Be quiet; Daddy is sleeping!" or "Let's save that last giant banana muffin for when Daddy gets home," or "No, I can't open the present you made me at school because Daddy will want to see it too, and he doesn't wake

up for three more hours," my latest request of my children must not have sounded too absurd, because they quickly agreed, and took it like champs. "Let's have an upstairs party on Christmas!" I suggested. "We can watch movies on the guest bed, read books, play games, paint our nails, and eat our food off of trays like princesses. We won't go downstairs to see our presents or stockings until Daddy gets home at 2." They were so excited! The four year old did plead only twice to be allowed to only peek at her presents, but when I said no, because Daddy really wanted to do that with her, and we wouldn't want him to miss that special time, she resignedly agreed, and went back to our game of Go Fish. When Daddy finally did come home, my kids cleaned up the room with me (without complaining)while he changed, and then when we let them run down the stairs to see their presents, they took it all in, and then my oldest begged for us to open our present first, since she had made it at school and had been dying for us to see it. I felt so proud as a mama to have kids who were so willing to forgo the usual early-wake-up-race-to-see-what-Santa-brought out of consideration for their Daddy and his feelings, and so amazed at how patiently they bore the waiting. But I don't just have sweet, marvelous children on Christmas day, as if it is some kind of Christmas miracle (And don't get me wrong- they are normal, human children with their rotten moments). These kids have been through the academy for police children: his night shifts (play quietly and no friends over) and missed activities (Daddy loves you but he can't see your Christmas program), the tiptoe-through-the-house times (Daddy had a bad day at work, so let's let him rest), and the babysitter shuffle (Grandma will pick you up from school because Daddy is overtime again). They have heard it all, and they have been both toughened and softened by it. They are able to function if he suddenly can't be there for them, and also particularly delighted if he can be (much more than if I am there, since I always am). They are Daddy's girls to the core, and that same consideration they extend to him by playing quietly or saving him their last treat, they also extend to others. They are concerned and caring; they are attentive to the needs of the people around them, but to be completely honest,at the same time slightly merciless. If someone has been hurt because they were not following the rules, they have very little compassion, and that is just as much our fault as their consideration for people who do follow the rules. All this to say, if you are thinking about or have already married a police officer, be prepared to teach your kids to sacrifice their selfishness on the altar of family. And then get ready to stand back in awe on the day they show you, wholeheartedly, that they can. Merry Christmas!

Fresh Wells and New Beginnings

The other night I read a Bible story to my girls about Isaac, Abraham's son, who was trying to provide clean water for his people by digging wells (Genesis 26:18-25). Each time his men completed the digging on a new well, however, other men would come and claim it, taking the land and water rights that Isaac and his people needed to survive. Isaac had to move to a new place and start over, only to have the same thing happen again; the same men came after them and claimed the well and the land, forcing Isaac to move once more. The third time, after the well was completed, no one came to fight over it, and Isaac was able to stay there. He named the well "Rehoboth," which meant "room." He had finally found a place where there would be clean water and enough room for everyone, a place where his family could grow and prosper. God even appeared to Isaac that night and told him "Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bless you and will increase the number of your descendants" (Gen. 26:24). Christmas is a time when we want to be in a familiar place, surrounded by family and friends. We want to be somewhere comfortable; we want to be loved. But sometimes, due to circumstances we can't control, we are far from home; we have our little family around us but not the loud, noisy, warm, happy crowd we grew up with. God has, for some reason, allowed us to be driven from where we would choose to be. What wells have you dug, just to be forced to walk away and begin again somewhere else? We were uprooted from our home in California and compelled to start life all over in Washington about five years ago. It was painful, and still is at times, especially during the holidays, when we know everyone is still getting together and life is going on without us, and we are missing it. We are comforted, though, when we look around and see how God has blessed what we do have, how He has added to our little life here. We have our lovely little Abby Hope, who was not in the plans back in California. We have a growing extended family, which has added a niece to our family tree each year for the last two years, and we are expecting another little girl in my brother's house in April. Our circle of friends has grown, and they are the kind that "sticks closer than a brother," as we discovered through Jeff's trial this summer. We have been blessed beyond imagining; we have not all we want but far more than we need. We may have gained and lost a few wells, but we have settled for now in a place that God is blessing richly. If you are having to give up your well, one you have dug with blood, sweat, and tears, and you don't see how it can ever be replaced, take heart. "But I said, 'I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with my God" (Isaiah 49:4). Don't be afraid to begin again, don't be afraid, for the Master of all wells is with you, and He is waiting to pour out buckets of blessings from a new well you may not even be able to imagine yet. "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland" Isaiah 43:28. May His streams of fresh blessings wash over you this Christmas season; may you not regret what has been lost but look around at what has been given and ahead to what is still to come through Jesus. Merry Christmas!