Movies, Manicures, and Good Kids

Do you want to teach your kids to think about someone else's needs before their own? Marry a cop. After being told their whole 4-6 years on this earth, "Be quiet; Daddy is sleeping!" or "Let's save that last giant banana muffin for when Daddy gets home," or "No, I can't open the present you made me at school because Daddy will want to see it too, and he doesn't wake

up for three more hours," my latest request of my children must not have sounded too absurd, because they quickly agreed, and took it like champs. "Let's have an upstairs party on Christmas!" I suggested. "We can watch movies on the guest bed, read books, play games, paint our nails, and eat our food off of trays like princesses. We won't go downstairs to see our presents or stockings until Daddy gets home at 2." They were so excited! The four year old did plead only twice to be allowed to only peek at her presents, but when I said no, because Daddy really wanted to do that with her, and we wouldn't want him to miss that special time, she resignedly agreed, and went back to our game of Go Fish. When Daddy finally did come home, my kids cleaned up the room with me (without complaining)while he changed, and then when we let them run down the stairs to see their presents, they took it all in, and then my oldest begged for us to open our present first, since she had made it at school and had been dying for us to see it. I felt so proud as a mama to have kids who were so willing to forgo the usual early-wake-up-race-to-see-what-Santa-brought out of consideration for their Daddy and his feelings, and so amazed at how patiently they bore the waiting. But I don't just have sweet, marvelous children on Christmas day, as if it is some kind of Christmas miracle (And don't get me wrong- they are normal, human children with their rotten moments). These kids have been through the academy for police children: his night shifts (play quietly and no friends over) and missed activities (Daddy loves you but he can't see your Christmas program), the tiptoe-through-the-house times (Daddy had a bad day at work, so let's let him rest), and the babysitter shuffle (Grandma will pick you up from school because Daddy is overtime again). They have heard it all, and they have been both toughened and softened by it. They are able to function if he suddenly can't be there for them, and also particularly delighted if he can be (much more than if I am there, since I always am). They are Daddy's girls to the core, and that same consideration they extend to him by playing quietly or saving him their last treat, they also extend to others. They are concerned and caring; they are attentive to the needs of the people around them, but to be completely honest,at the same time slightly merciless. If someone has been hurt because they were not following the rules, they have very little compassion, and that is just as much our fault as their consideration for people who do follow the rules. All this to say, if you are thinking about or have already married a police officer, be prepared to teach your kids to sacrifice their selfishness on the altar of family. And then get ready to stand back in awe on the day they show you, wholeheartedly, that they can. Merry Christmas!