8 Ways to Encourage A Friend

I have a toddler at home, which means that even though I have two school-aged children who can care for themselves, pack their own lunches, and remember their ballet and basketball practices without being reminded, my brain is still fully occupied with potty training, remembering all the character's names from Paw Patrol and their functions, and waking up three times a night because someone needs a granola bar or their favorite spatula fell out of the bed. So when one of my friends is struggling, it's tempting to just avoid them, not because I don't care, but because I'm so tired that I don't feel like I have anything to offer. That being said, I am very much an extrovert who needs my friends. I love the solid friendships I have intentionally sought out, nurtured, and treasured! I don't take my friendships for granted, having been through some deep periods of loneliness at different times in my life. I want to give encouragement back, but how? If any of these sounds like you, raise your hand: Just moved away from home for college, or just home after college? Just moved to a new city, state, or country? Joined a new church? Had a baby before any of your other friends? Had a baby after all of your friends were finished having babies? in the fog of just driving kids to school and activities, wondering when you will ever feel like yourself and not just a chauffeur? Whatever it is, you may feel like you don't have much to give others. Life is just taking it out of you right now. You, sweet one, are not alone. And God still wants hope, support, and friendship for you, even in this place; you were not designed to do it alone. So when you finally do reach out to friends, how can you give anything back? Here are some practical overtures of friendship you can offer even when you have nothing to give! 1) Invite a friend over for dinner when your husband is on the night shift. Even if it is PB and J sandwiches. Eating a meal together and chatting, even while kids play, always reminds me how much I love my friends! 2) Pray with your friends and for them. I pray for my friends as I do my everyday tasks, just as they come to mind. If you are my friend, I have prayed for you as I folded laundry, made dinner, swept floors, or waited for kids after school. And if you ask me to pray for you in general, I've probably just grabbed your hands right there and prayed. That's because I have a toddler. If I don't do it now, I'll forget. The people in the grocery store probably don't care. 3) Offer to watch their kids. Your kids get a playdate out of it, or at least babysitting practice. You get to offer a friend some much-needed peace and quiet, or a date night with her husband, or just getting groceries by herself (moms, you all know that's practically a vacation!). And maybe, just maybe, she'll offer to watch yours sometime, too! But that's beside the point. 4) Invite your friend to bring her kids over. Eat together, or just play. My friend and I recently got together to eat dinner at her house and I brought a quilt I was working on to sew. She got out some sewing, too, and we just talked forever. It was lovely, and our kids had a great time, too! 5) Bring your friend a treat. Maybe a few cookies from a batch you made, or a little candy bar or a new flavor of tea with a little note on it saying you were thinking of her! Something small or homemade doesn't take much from you but is just perfect for saying "I'm thinking of you." It goes along with "You are not alone!" and "I'm praying for you!" 6) Write your friend a note of encouragement. Not a long one, but one that communicates any of the above messages. My secret sister at work wrote me some very sweet little notes, and I kept them all, because they made me feel so special, noticed, and loved! Make that difference to someone you care for! A text works, too! I love the texts I get from friends that are accompanied by funny memes or encouraging images with Scripture verses. 7) Give hand-me-downs! Some people don't do this, but I love giving and getting bags of clothes and toys from friends! If I can pass something on that still has a good life left to someone who will enjoy it, I feel much better about that than throwing it away, and I have received some very cute things for my kids and I to wear, play with, and enjoy. Also, the people you give to and the people who give to you are rarely the same, so you can keep the chain of sharing and blessing going! 8) Do a low/no cost ladies' night at your house for your friends. That way they can get to know and enjoy each other! Have a movie/ popcorn party, a grown-up coloring book night, a yoga night, or just a dinner where everyone brings a part. Don't worry about the house being spotless, and please don't worry about decorations or fancy treats. You are reaching out because you are friendship-starved! Save the fancy stuff for a different season in life, and for now let the friends be the focus! Encouragement is about hope. Take time to fill your friends with hope in any little way you can, and you will certainly be encouraged yourself. My hope for you, right now, is that someone comes to your mind who you are in the perfect position to encourage, and that you find some way to bring them hope this week.