How To Avoid A Political Argument

"The gospel doesn't need a soapbox; it needs a table." My pastor has been saying this every week this month, and I love it, because it feels like every other person has a soapbox to stand on today. I can't go anywhere without someone trying to lure me into some kind of political argument, and I am pretty much done with it. I did my battling with a pen and a ballot, and now I would like to move on. But so many are not ready to move on, and they want to continue to wage war with everyone they meet, whether it is in the school parking lot, the grocery store, the ballet studio, or the coffee shop. People who I want to enjoy time with, and talk about other aspects of life with, are stuck in an angry place. It's true that we can't speak into someone's life without a basis of relationship, so if you are in a friendship with someone or just stuck in line with them, and you are not in agreement politically, hopefully the following will help everybody move forward and we can again enjoy the art of conversation. Maybe even rediscover friendly banter. 1) Arguing is foolish. You aren't going to change anyone's mind by loudly disagreeing with them, interrupting, or getting red in the face. Save that behavior for the hockey rink, and find some civility. 2 Timothy 2:14 says "Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels." 2) Twice is enough. If you persist in bringing up a topic that causes an argument, you are now nagging, hounding, irritating, and otherwise causing problems. If you have tried a couple of times to change a friend's mind about something, it's time to drop it if you want to stay friends. Proverbs 26:21 says "As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome person for kindling strife." I would rather fuel a friendship than a fire with my words. 3) Know what is sacred. When you have a good friend (and want to keep them), know what hill they are willing to die on, and stay away from it. Friends do not need to agree on everything, and while you should be able to talk about what is meaningful to you, if you notice that they get heated whenever you bring up something in particular, don't bring it up. If they ask you, which implies that they are open to your opinion, by all means, go there, but only if invited. This is also a huge sign of respect, when they know you don't agree but you are willing to set the issue aside in favor of the relationship. Proverbs 17:14 says "Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out." 4) Use gentle words. If you just don't want to get sucked into an argument, you can gently and kindly say, "I'd rather not talk about this. It seems like we just need to agree to disagree." Or, "I can see that you feel really strongly about this. I think we should probably talk about something else." And then change the subject. Hopefully they will be willing to move on. Proverbs 17:27 says "The one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has understanding is even-tempered." I'd love to be known as a woman who is wise, understanding, and even-tempered. I feel that I probably have a long way to go, but at least there is a road map laid out for me to follow in God's Word, and if I don't refer to it, I'll soon be lost. I'll end with my favorite verse about words, and one of the earliest ones I taught to my girls when they were just old enough to talk: "Pleasant words are a honeycomb; sweet to the soul and healing to the bones." Proverbs 16:24. May your words be sweet and full of wisdom today, drawing others to the table!