Having a Big Picture View

I was over at a friend's new house, putting together a crib for her daughter to sleep in that night, and realizing the need for The Big Picture. When a metaphor for my life comes to me, it often smacks me in the face like the falling side of a crib which I failed to fully screw together. There I was, with pretty good directions in at least three languages, and I still managed somehow to screw not just one piece together wrong, but two different sections on both sides of the crib. All my work of an hour, all wrong, because in reading only the step by step directions, I did not turn back to the first page, the big picture of the fully assembled crib. If I had, I would have seen that the sides curved outward, not inward, and had several holes for the mattress base to screw into, holes which were nowhere to be seen on my incorrectly assembled sides. I fought the impulse to scream some non-PG words, took a few deep breaths, and picked up the screwdriver to start over. Then a crib rail fell onto my foot. Then I really started over, but I made sure to check the picture repeatedly, and the crib finally was ready for Baby Bailey to sleep in that night in her new house. But I do this all the time in my life, proceeding with a bit of a plan of how to correct my kids' behavior, or bad attitudes, and what I'm really providing is just a behavioral band-aid. "Say you are sorry." Five minutes later, "say you are sorry" again. "This time, you have to clean the toys up yourself and say you are sorry." "Now you get to just go to bed." And what did anybody learn? That if we aren't nice, we repeat the same apology until mom gets really mad and sends us to bed? Where is the big picture for this? I'm following the steps but it's just getting messier! The big picture is God, and his plan for my family is love, and joy, and peace, and patience, and all the other fruit that somehow seems to be hanging on the tree just out of our reach. How do we arrive at a loving, peaceful family without all the screws coming loose, the side rails coming off, and painful bruises from where we collide with each other? 1. Read what the Bible has to say about families, and children, and discipline. Do a search of the word "child" or "children" in Proverbs and read everything that comes up! 2. The big picture is a family that loves each other and that loves others like Jesus loves. All training should have this in mind, then, like finding ways to serve others when selfishness is the problem, or like finding ways to encourage when hurtful words are the problem. 3. Pray as a family, to ask God to help you be more loving and kind. It's a new year, a great time for new habits. If you don't pray together at meals or bedtime, you can start now to do that. "What are you thankful for today?" is a great question to start off a family prayer time. 4. Be consistent about discipline and just as consistent about praise. Be loving with your family, and they will be more loving with each other. My kids mirror what I do and say. It begins with me. 5. Keep moving forward. We are going to make mistakes. If we have a terrible day, tomorrow is a new day to try again with God's help. God's mercies are new every morning, and his grace is enough for each day. The big picture is a loving family who treats each other with kindness, and we can accomplish it!