Finding Time to Exercise

I know you are wondering, “How can I tell my husband he can spend more time away from me and our family when he is gone so much as it is?” Allowing your husband the time and space to work out does take away from the precious little time you have with each other. But please think long-term on this one: someday the job will be done, retirement will arrive, and what kind of shape will he be in to enjoy it? And what about how he feels now? Even if you have to put the kids to bed by yourself while he goes for a run, even if he comes home later or leaves earlier for work so he can hit the gym, he will feel better about himself, and he will have more energy to spend on you when he is with you, instead of feeling overweight and cranky. So as far as you are able, encourage your husband to take time for himself in this, and do whatever you can to show him you support him while letting him know you love him just the way he is. If you don’t want him leaving you alone just to exercise, and if you don’t mind sweat droplets covering your TV screen and leaving spots on your carpet, you can work out together at home like my husband and I do. This way you can support his efforts at fitness, spend time with him, and be in better shape yourself. About six months ago, my husband ordered a DVD workout series that we do together in the living room. We planned a time, filled each other’s water bottles, moved the furniture back, and then exercised until we were dripping sweat and lying on the floor, gasping for breath like fish out of water. It was hard to stay motivated at first, and I know we would have quit if we had been trying to do it without each other, but through sickness, my broken toe, my husband’s trial, and other roadblocks, we stuck with it. Now, not only are we in better shape, but we look forward to the camaraderie of pushing though those workouts together. You don’t need to go this extreme; you can go for walks, ride bicycles, or go to the gym or the pool together. The camaraderie will develop if you are together, overcoming obstacles and working toward a common goal of being healthy for your life together.

Butterflies and fairy houses

Today I let go. I had plans to make a corn and black bean salad for tomorrow so it could marinate overnight in the fridge. I had plans to wash my sheets, that job being highly overdue. I had plans to take bags of stuff to Goodwill from my summer closet clean out. I definitely had plans to take my kids to see the July 3rd fireworks in our town. But it was so sunny when we woke up today, an I-can't-tell-you-how-rare occurrence this year in the Pacific Northwest, that the girls and I decided to go out in the yard in our pajamas and rain boots and do a little morning exploring. Under some dead leaves I decided to clean up we found a spotted grey slug and two tiny garter snakes (my insides still recoil at the thought). We filled seven mason jars of various sizes with flowers of all colors. We picked only red, white, and blue flowers and floated them in a great glass bowl for our table. We followed a monarch butterfly around the yard and gave up hope on taking her picture until I decided to cut some more hydrangeas for a jar and there she was, tiger striped with flecks of iridescent blue on her wings, right next to me on a vibrant blue blossom. We used some dead chestnut tree branches to make a fairy house like I used to do on the Oregon beach when I was little, except instead of shells we used leaves for rugs, and flower petals scattered for a roof and carpet, and a tiny stone-lined path, with a final giant stone upon which came to be written in Sharpie marker in six-year-old handwriting, "Welcome fairies." Then it began to pour on us, so we came in and had baths, put on fake tattoos from a birthday party favor bag, and I painted their nails however they wanted. This meant that Charlie had red and blue fingernails with silver glitter and red glitter toenails, but Abby, the four year old, had purple and pink fingernails with gold glitter, one foot of pink toenails, and one foot of purple toenails, each with gold glitter. At some point their sheets were washed, but not mine. Their dinner was made, but not my salad. We didn't make it to the fireworks, because our nails were drying and it was cold and wet outside. But they giggled about the fairy house all afternoon, and they oohed and aahed over each other's nails, and at some point each little daughter wrapped her not-so-small-anymore arms around my neck and kissed me, and told me she loved me. Wow. I am no supermom. I often can be heard saying, "not right now," "just a minute," and "I'll get that for you after I finish this." But today I was just there, in the moment and accommodating, giving out a cheerful "Sure" to their requests, and I will never forget it. And now one last to-do for today: I still have some glitter that has to appear inside that fairy house before morning, and I can't wait to see their faces when they see it.